Monday, January 08, 2007

I Was Cool Before It Was Cool to Be Cool

So I just read a news article about how Old Spice has a new ad campaign to position themselves as some "hip" product instead of the 80-year-old dinosaur it is.

I've been using Old Spice deodorant for ten years now (actually, the ten-year anniversary will be in the middle of February), and I, for one, do not welcome this new ad campaign. Now when I go to the store to buy Old Spice, everyone will think I'm just some mindless idiot who saw a magazine ad with Faye Dunaway (actual ad figure--I'm a stickler for the truth) and said to myself, "I want to smell like that product I can't smell right now."

I consider myself a "classic" Old Spice user, in that I began using the product in the typical manner: I ran out of deodorant and stole a stick of Old Spice from a roommate.

In seeking to discourage Old Spice from becoming trendy, there's a fine line I have to walk, obviously. I can't allow it to become so uncool that they go out of business, but I also don't want to be jostling elbows with inebriated frat boys at the Old Spice display. But I figure Old Spice is a long way from bankruptcy, since the makers of Brüt are still around, and no one outside of a nursing home has used Brüt in twenty years.

I'm just going to have to engage in high-volume soliloquies at the register to the effect of: "Yep, time to buy some more Old Spice, like I have been doing for years. Gosh, I wonder if Old Spice even has advertising anymore. Because, obviously, I haven't seen any. Nope, just buying the old Old Spice of my own volition and whatnot." By this time, the transaction completed, I will be free to run back to my car and fester in my own shame.

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