How long will it take before I'm content to piss away my life doing absolutely nothing?
Aside from my meaningless job, I'm spending all my time and effort going to college. For what? So I can get a slightly-higher-paying, just-as-worthless job? In Kansas City instead of Lawrence, so my commute can be three times as long?
I spend my days ignoring the pointlessness of it, then every two weeks or so I can't ignore it any longer, I get angry about it for a day or so, and then--since there is nothing I can do about it--I go back to trying to ignore it.
I can distract myself by buying things, or by eating things. And I can really distract myself by buying things to eat. But really I'm just waiting to die. Maybe on a toilet in five years, maybe in a nursing home in sixty years, maybe anywhere, anytime. But that is the next meaningful event in my life. And all I can do is wait around for it.
So today I'm going to spend ten hours waiting for it at work.
Title from Radiohead's song "No Surprises."