Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Cornucopia!

So many things, and none of them related:

Firstly, when I stepped outside to walk to the bus this morning, I said to myself, "I'd say it's 17 degrees, but when I get to work, weather.com is going to say it feels like six." Well, when I got to the bus stop the bank sign next door said 17 degrees. Then, when I got to work, I forgot to check weather.com for about twenty minutes. When I finally remembered, it said the temperature was 18 and it felt like seven. So since I forgot and the temperature had gone up a degree, can I also take a degree off the wind chill and say that I was right on that prediction, too? Either way, I'm a freaking weather genius.

Secondly, what the hell is with restaurants closing when I want to go there? In December I asked everyone at work what the best Chinese restaurant in town is and they told me to go to Imperial Garden. When I got to said Imperial Garden that night, it was closed. Not just temporarily, but for good. Then, when we were in California, we wanted to eat at our favorite restaurant there, Richard's Shanghai Restaurant. But when we got there, it was closed down, too. And last night Persephone picked me up from school and we went downtown to eat at Qdoba, and it was closed, also. It's not like I'm just out of the loop or something; each time we've had this happen, all our friends and relations have expressed shock and dismay.

Thirdly, the prices have gone up at Jimmy John's. Everything is now 26 cents more expensive than it was. If I'm going to pay more than five dollars for a sandwich, it had better come to me hot. But thanks to relaxed capital gains tax rules, everyone in America has cash to spend on worthless crap. Oh, everyone except for those who didn't own homes by the mid nineties, but those people aren't really Americans, are they? Fanny Mae's website will tell you that more Americans own homes than ever before, and so everyone is rolling in his own crapulence, spending seven dollars on designer bread and complaining about the effect that apartment dwellers have on property values. Here's the thing, Einstein: people don't live in apartments because they can afford houses and don't want them.

Anyway, I told two of my friends here at work that I was writing for the Kansan this semester, and evidently they told a lot of other people, because when I came in last Friday, about eight people told me they liked my article. (I run on Thursdays.) Well, I already know what is going to run tomorrow, and I know that most of my coworkers aren't going to like it, so it's a little fun looking about me today and thinking, "I've offended you and you don't know it yet."

Sometime today I expect to get bored with work enough to come up with a new edition of the enemies list. Tito promises to move up several places, since his brother just sent all of us a mass e-mail regarding his band's MySpace page.

One more thing, since I'm kind of bored today: I wore my Boston Red Sox shirt today. I have one because my wife's father has been a life-long Red Sox fan for a long and convoluted reason. But he is nonetheless, and when they won the World Series in 2004 he bought tee shirts for all of us. Well, I wore mine in today and two of the guys just started being nearly angry with me. I didn't respond and they kept going. They know I'm a Pirates fan. They don't even follow American League baseball. So why the hatred? And it's not the first time I've ever worn this shirt here. Idiots.

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