So what are some of my favorite foods? Foods that, no matter what, will ALWAYS taste good?
PECAN PIE: If they sold pecan pie filling in cans like they do for pumpkin pies, I would eat that crap until my heart stopped.
SWEDISH FISH: At any given moment, there might be another candy that I would like more, but Swedish Fish is always in second place. Rotating first-place candies include Reese's Fast Break bars, York Peppermint Patties, Valomilks, those minty chocolate chips you get at weddings, and even Boost bars.
HAWAIIAN PUNCH: The beverage of choice atop Mount Olympus. Here's the thing about Hawaiian Punch: I've never tried any flavor but the red one. Are the other ones any good? They're hard to find, usually, and I never want to take a chance of something I don't know, when there's always good old reliable red flavor there, too.
VELVETTA SHELLS AND CHEESE: Not only is it easier to make than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (no butter, no milk), but just in terms of taste it whoops Kraft's ass like a rented mule.
SPRANGO: A beverage invented by someone else, but I can't remember his name. It's a concoction of Sprite and mango juice. About one part mango juice to five parts Sprite. PUT THE MANGO JUICE IN FIRST! That's very important. Otherwise it won't taste the same.
CRAB RANGOON: Just a quick review of the list so far gives me an indication why I am fat man trapped in a sort-of-skinny man's body. Crab Rangoon will never make a menu at a health food place, but it is tasty nonetheless.
SHRIMP WITH WALNUTS: I know it's risky business ordering shrimp at a Chinese place, but this is worth the risk.
CHICKEN SOFT TACO AT SALTY IGUANA: The best part of the Big Iguana combo.
ZANGO: A deep-fried cheesecake type of thing they used to sell at Rubio's in California. Then for a while they had something similar to it at Applebee's, but it had apple chunks in it.
MEAT ME CALZONE AT OLD CHICAGO: Almost tasty enough to make you ignore the high prices.
EMPAÑADAS: With honey on them.
I'll probably get in all kinds of trouble for not including anything that my wife makes at home, but if I had done that, I wouldn't be able to link to any pictures on the Internet. But just to cover myself: I like Persephone's chicken bundles, tortellini casserole, another type of casserole thing with bread crumbs on top, a chicken recipe she got from Mary Stout, and many of the desserts she makes, like one she made the last time we had the missionaries over (it involved a brownie mix somehow).
Title from The Rentals' song "Please Let That Be You."