A Paper Trail of My (Coming) Brilliant Success

So I’ve created a Twitter profile. Not because anything I’m doing is worth noting, but because it will allow me to slowly amass a massive backload of data when I becoming amazingly successful and my adoring public attempts to find out as much about me as it can. Here are some a worthless factoid (or twenty) about me that will become a bon mot for use at parties to establish your status as a “true” A Random Stranger fan:

• I once had to look up “bon mot” on the Internet to see if I was using it correctly. When it was questionable I was, I went ahead with the usage, anyway.
• As a young child, my newlywed uncle would watch us on Friday nights while my parents went out. We would eat macaroni and cheese and watch “Solid Gold.”
• I assume I was mentioned in the newspaper in a birth announcement. The second time was on the front page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, where my name was misspelled. The third time was in the Camarillo Daily News, where my name was misspelled and I was referred to as “she.”
• I vowed to quit playing Minesweeper once I got an expert-level score under 100. My expert-level score is 80 and I have basically retired from the game.
• I once explained to a German tourist in Washington, DC, who William Sherman was. I said, “Er brannte alles.” He said, “Warum?” I said, “Es war ein Krieg.”
• For Thanksgiving one year I lined up a ride to Kansas City on the BYU ride board. I ended up making out with one of my fellow passengers during the drive back to Provo. I didn’t care if it made the other passengers uncomfortable because, after 20 hours in the car with them, I hated them all.
• I have never hitchhiked yet, but every time I might be late for my bus I think, “Today might be the day.”
• I once promised 20 random facts about me and then only delivered eight.