Okay, so that’s not a direct quote of Ice Cube’s “It Was a Good Day.” More like a liberal paraphrase. And I don’t even own a pager. I own a weak-ass phone that can’t even take pictures. Sunday at Commencement the chancellor told everyone, “Take out your phones.” So I got out my phone. Then he said, “Now take your picture.” And my phone had to do the Walk of Shame back into my pocket. I wanted to work the word “surreptitiously” into that last sentence, but I’m too bored to figure out how I’d do it. Maybe it can be like a stage direction. (incredulously) It could work like that! (When I’m told to read something incredulously, my meta-framework imagines the voice of John Travolta’s character from “Saturday Night Fever” saying, “Come on, Stephanie, I can walk you!”)
During one of my high school summers I did everything with MTV on. (This was back when MTV played music videos. (It’s not too late to tell your parenthesis-loving friends about this blog!)) The reason was that my friends and I were enamored with a particular video and YouTube hadn’t been invented yet. Anyway, as a result I saw Ice Cube’s video about a million times that summer. My friends and I loved the idea of a “good day” being the result of: 1. the absence of pork from the breakfast table, 2. winning a game of dominoes, 3. a Lakers victory, 4. a late-night burger run, and 5. not having to use your AK-47. Ice Cube understands that it’s the little things in life that make the difference. It’s very Zen-like, all except the part about owning an AK-47.
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