Thursday, November 03, 2011

Mail Bag: Allergies Edition

Last month I was going to write an insensitive post about allergies, then decided to censor myself. Long-suffering reader benniegirl wrote, "I'd still like to hear about the allergies though." Which just goes to show: my public demands the uncensored version.

You want uncensored? Well, all right, motherfu-- Just kidding. I'll keep some censoring in place. Just not any regarding allergies.

I never had allergies as a kid, so I grew up thinking that it was another way of saying "I didn't like something." I spent most of my childhood claiming to be allergic to watermelon.

I wouldn't go so far as to claim that ALL allergic reactions are psychosomatic, because people have reactions to unknown exposures. Sure, some people might feel fine until they see your cat, and then their eyes water, but other times the watering eyes cause them to look around for the hidden cat.

Allergies seem to have gotten out of hand, though. My daughter's Girl Scout troop is gluten-free because one member is gluten-free. Screw that! She can eat her crap snacks in the corner. The rest of us are having delicious cake.

Thirty years ago, what happened to the kids with the deadly peanut allergies? They died, I guess. It seems terrible until you remember that we all are going to die eventually. John Tavolta's character in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble was supposed to be dead. I mean, if you are allergic to EVERYthing, the chesty girl next door isn't going to be able to save you (unless she goes to a lot of medical schooling first).

If I had kids with allergies, I think I'd understand that the burden is on my family, not on society, to prevent my kids' exposure, and that there will be times when my kid is having a different experience. The other kids will be eating their peanut butter cookies and my kid will be eating his gross Fig Newtons. We don't have to make everybody have an equally miserable life just so my kid doesn't feel left out.

4 comments:

Charlie Pulsipher said...

Scientists are beginning to believe that allergies are tied to parasites. Now that we've almost elliminated parasites in our country, we are seeing a rise in allergies. There is some interesting research being done to create harmless parasites in pill form to treat these fatal allergies. Should work on regular allergies and some auto-immune diseases too.

Nancy said...

You're jinxing us with having a kid with a deadly peanut allergy.

Stephen said...

I actually am allergic to watermelon. You making light of that is beyond insulting. I could throw a gluten-free treat at you.

benniegirl said...

way to give the readers what they want!