Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Color Blindness

Most color blind people are men. But my wife cannot determine color sometimes.

I owned a backpack from before our marriage that I would refer to as my green bag. She had no idea what I meant because, to her, it was black. I agreed that it often looked black, but that was a result of a trick of lighting. When I first bought it in the BYU bookstore, it was green. After we were married several years, she finally saw the bag under the correct lighting conditions and said, "Your bag looks green right now!" She did not, however, update her idea that the bag wasn't actually green.

We owned a car that, according to official Ford Motor Company documentation, was green, but my wife thought it was silver. She would laugh when she took it in for service and the technicians had filled in paperwork that called the car brown or tan or gold, but she didn't realize it was just as laughable to me that she didn't know the car was green. I mean, when we bought it they gave me a tiny little can of spray paint that said "spruce green" on the outside of it.

This morning while I was dressing for work, we had the following conversation.

A RANDOM STRANGER: This tie looks okay with this shirt, right?

MY WIFE: Let me see. Yeah, they're both grey.

ARS: But these pants aren't grey.

MW: Yeah they are.

ARS: They look grey, but they're blue.

MW: You're crazy.

ARS: If a blue whale was wearing these pants, people would think it was naked.

MW: And blue whales are grey.

ARS: And yet they're called blue whales.

That recent "what color is this dress" deal should settle this: I woke up and checked Twitter and Facebook and saw a close-up picture of a black-and-blue dress, then saw a bunch of posts about people being unable to determine the color of the dress. Later, my wife woke up and checked Facebook and asked me what I thought of the white-and-gold dress going around. And science says...I saw the real colors.

I said to my wife this morning, "I like when you give me blog post material. I don't even have to think about what I'm going to write today. Bam, blog post! Move on to my next item!"

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