Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Missouri Gets Stupider Every Day (But You Can't Say It Out Loud There)

I earned my undergraduate degree at University of Kansas, which is the rival school of University of Missouri, which sucks. While many schools advertise their rivalry as a "civil war," Bleeding Kansas and Quantrill's Raiders was more than just a football game. Mizzou fans celebrate the murder of hundreds of unarmed men and boys, so Kansas fans celebrate the fact that Missouri is lame. (I mean, really, you call your school "Mizzou"? What, you got a college education but never learned how to say the name of your state?)

So it's not surprising to me that now at Mizzou you are supposed to call the POLICE if you witness HURTFUL speech.

If you read this blog post aloud next to those stupid columns (at least when a building burns down in Kansas, we have the good sense to rebuild it), you would be reported to the police. You know, for speech. Because that's how we roll in America.

Wait, what's that? That's not how we roll in America? Well, it is now, fool. Get with the times. And frankly, I could do with a little less hurtfulness in your speech. Don't make me report you.

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