Monday, April 11, 2016

The Big Gulp

I still can't remember what the awesome blog post was that I thought of over the weekend. But I did remember this blog post idea that I had. What if this idea is the awesome idea? Well, I certainly hope my brain didn't think this idea was "important, true, and innovative." But, then again, my brain sucks, so who knows?

When I broke my ankle in 1996, I had terribly painful swelling after my surgery. I spent about three days stuck on the couch, watching the Olympics and calling my girlfriend's apartment and having her roommates tell me she was still not home yet. (I was super bored.)

Anyway, for those three days, I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom because I had to keep my leg elevated to avoid pain. So my family devised this system. We dedicated a gas station 64-ounce cup as the pee cup, and I would pee into that and then have one of my parents dump it in the toilet. Because this was less-than-ideal, I held my urine as much as I possibly could. Then I only had to do this two times a day or so.

Here's the interesting thing: if I held it too long, I ended up filling the cup and needing to make two trips of it. This means that I had more than 64 ounces of urine in me at the time.

Have you seen the size of a 64-ounce cup? Isn't it weirdly fascinatingly gross that my bladder was larger than a gas station super-sized cup?

Picture from

I once dated a girl who said her entire family was cursed with unusually-small bladders. If we'd had kids, I wonder if they would have had average bladders.

If that picture made it so you can never again drink Mountain Dew from a gas station cup, you're welcome.

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