Friday, October 07, 2016

Notes on the Music of Taylor Swift: Hurricane Evacuation Edition

Part of our soundtrack for our evacuation from Hurricane Matthew was Taylor Swift's album Speak Now. My daughter reminded me that when I first heard "Mine" I tried to convince her that the lyrics said "a hairless man's hairful daughter" and that the song was a rejected entry to the Brave film soundtrack.

But my most-important observation: if Taylor's telling the truth when she sings "there's nothing I do better than revenge," why do so many people screw with Taylor Swift? I think Taylor needs to accept the fact that she is actually quite terrible at revenge.

Case in point: Kanye West. Kanye humiliated Taylor at the VMAs and her "revenge" was so devastating that he...made a video with him writhing naked in bed with a computer-generated Taylor Swift. When it comes to taking revenge, Taylor should think about using fewer moody ballads and using more knives. The saying is "snitches get stitches," not "snitches get heart-breaking melodies."

Speaking of Kanye, whenever I have to pause a Taylor Swift CD, I say, "Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish in a minute, but who's interested in stopping at Taco Bell [or whatever would be appropriate to the moment, but it's usually stopping at Taco Bell]?"

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