Sunday, January 01, 2017

Acts of Will

I just had a realization at the end of my yoga practice for today. (Yeah, I said it.) I realized that what seems so difficult about obedience is the prospect of performing an act of will in each moment, forever. That's exhausting, and I don't know about you, but it feels impossible to me. A commitment to perfect obedience is a commitment to making correct conscious choices in each moment.

But another way of looking at it is that perfect obedience is to never make a conscious choice again. I will never perform another act of will if I've surrendered to someone else's will.

So which is it? Is obedience will-reliant or will-negligent?

A good blogger would have an answer here.

1 comment:

Alanna said...

I still remember my American Studies teacher in 11th grade asking us if we ever got depressed by the idea that we had to brush our teeth EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. (And this was before we wrote sentences with periods in the middle like that! But it's definitely the effect he was going for!) He quickly explained that he was NOT recommending moss growing on our teeth, but still-- didn't we just hate the idea of this chore never stopping?

His words had such an impact on me because it was EXACTLY how I felt, even though I'd never articulated it like that to myself. Something about knowing I would have to brush my teeth for every day of my life seemed almost (but not quite) unbearable.

Except, now it doesn't. I don't know what changed, but I no longer have any qualms about the dailiness of this task. (Okay, twice daily. At least. You know what I mean.) I even floss every day! I think it's gross if I don't do all that stuff.

Something within me changed and made this task not a chore any more. Maybe obedience is the same way? And part of maturing spiritually is becoming so that the things that used to feel like chores don't feel that way any more. Maybe?