I caucused this morning, and I'm completely unsatisfied with the experience. My ballot allowed me to choose between Rudy Giuliani, Alan Keyes, Ron Paul, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, and undecided. However, only Paul, McCain, and Huckabee had people there to speak for them. Going through the sign-in line took so long that I didn't get into the assembly area until the speakers had started, so I couldn't ask around and find out if I could speak for Romney.
I entered the hall as the McCain spokesman said, "And he said to me, 'Son, being beaten and kept in a tiger cage is a hard week. This is just a week we'll work through.'" Honestly, that's what he said. McCain and his tiger cage are quickly becoming the new Giuliani and 9/11. "Hey, Senator McCain, do you prefer the Big Mac or the Whopper?" "I was in a tiger cage!" "Uh, that's not what I asked." "Don't you dare contradict me! Tiger cage!"
Then the Ron Paul guy got up and gave a rousing speech that ended with a call for trade protectionism. Seriously. I'm surprised Paul doesn't want to drive the newfangled automobile manufacturers out of business to protect the vital buggy whip industry.
Last came the speakers for Mike Huckabee. One of the speakers said Huckabee runs an honest and principled campaign. I laughed. I was the only one who laughed. The rest of them thought he was telling the truth.
Then it was time to vote. That was it. It wasn't at all like a caucus as had been explained to me by Wikipedia and people from Iowa. They handed out ballots and I voted for Romney, then I left.
This afternoon Fox News is reporting that Huckabee won a huge victory in Kansas. Which just pisses me off even more that Romney dropped out. Super Tuesday's results were not decisive. McCain won a lot of states, but never with a convincing majority. There was no reason for Romney to drop out. McCain didn't roll to victory; Huckabee got three times the votes McCain got.
So maybe we'll still end up with a brokered convention if McCain can't win conservative states.
Title from the teachers' caucus in the episode "The PTA Disbands" of "The Simpsons."