Monday, February 18, 2008

Life Coach

So I'm a life coach now. Why? Because I got to thinking a couple weeks ago, "People pay money for life coaches, and being a life coach takes no actual skill. I could be a life coach. I wonder if I hung a flier on the library bulletin board how many calls I'd get?" And that was when I decided to be a life coach.

Persephone told me I couldn't do it. "There're all sorts of liability issues," she said. "What if you ruined someone's life?"

I told her I'd read a book first. So I searched for "life coach" in the Lawrence Public Library online database, but they didn't have any books. So I searched in the database for Topeka/Shawnee County Public Library (which is even better because they will mail the books to me), and I ended up getting Maybe Life's Just Not That Into You, by Martha Bolton and Brad Dickson.

But it turns out it's not a real self-help book; it's a humor book that mocks self-help books. But I read it anyway. When I was 40 percent finished with the book I told Persephone, "I'm 40 percent of the way to being a life coach." She gave me a critical look, but last night when I finished the book she said, "Now you're a life coach." So I guess I am.

Now all I have to do is make my flier. I figure it's going to be really easy. This place is probably crawling with people who want to do well in school, they just can't make themselves do it (like me, circa 1999-2000). As a matter of fact, I have two classes with a girl who is a prime candidate for a life coach.

I'll keep you posted on my new career. Imagine if I can make enough money at this to quit my crap job! That would be hilarious!

1 comment:

Cristin said...

You should entice people with an introductory offer like, "First Hour Free" and then after they are hooked charge like $50 for a 30 minute session of nonsense where you shake a Magic 8 Ball around for answers.

Wow, now that I'm writing this out, it doesn't sound half bad, maybe I should be a life coach too.