Wednesday, June 11, 2008

GustBuster Busts

About two months ago I bought the most expensive umbrella I’ve ever owned. For all I know, it could be the most expensive umbrella known to man. It’s a GustBuster and it cost something around $36. The selling feature of this umbrella is that it is much more wind-proof than a typical umbrella.

Before buying this umbrella I glanced through the reviews on, but they are hard to take seriously because every good review makes me think, “That writer works for GustBuster,” and every bad review makes me think, “That writer works for GustBuster’s competitor.” So I bought the umbrella.

Atop the umbrella is a button. This button has broken off. My “lifetime warranty” from GustBuster requires I mail the umbrella to them with a ten dollar check for shipping and handling. So they’ve just increased the cost of their umbrella by close to 50%. It seems to me they sold me a defective umbrella, so they should eat the cost of shipping and handling. If they didn’t want to ship it or handle it anymore, they should have made an umbrella that wouldn’t fall apart.

I’m mostly irate right now. (Mostly, I say, because I forget about it and then I see my broken umbrella sitting on my desk and I remember again.) My wife is very irate. She already thought the umbrella was overpriced, and she was angry that I ordered it around our anniversary and got her hopes up when I told her a surprise was coming in the mail. (It was a surprise (for me, though) and it did come in the mail. What was the big deal?) GustBuster is making enemies around my house faster than whoever decided to pull the plug on Reese’s Whipps.

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