Wednesday, July 23, 2008

"Doctor Please Some More of These"

What a drag it is getting old.

Why do American moms need to get all coked up when they’ve so completely tranqed their kids?

“’I can definitely say without a doubt that I am addicted to caffeine,’ said Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska. ‘I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day.’"

“If you take more of those you will get an overdose,” said one prominent member of the medical community, Dr. Mick Jagger, MD.

The CNN article concludes by saying one to four drinks is fine. This man disagrees with the high end of that range.

Maybe they should put their kids to bed on time and they’d have more time to relax. Persephone and I have both seen school-aged kids rockin’ the Wal-Mart at ten on a school night. Crazy Jane befriended an older girl who lives near us. She must be about nine or 10 (10 is such a fateful age because it’s when newspapers stop writing out the word for your age and start using numerals). She told Crazy Jane she can stay out until ten, and then she does her homework until midnight. Some of that might be childhood braggadocio, but I’ve seen her loitering outside after nine before. By herself, even. It’s not like she’s got some awesome social life that’s taking so much of her time. She sits outside alone until the evening news comes on (we live in the “uncivilized” part of the country, where the news is on at ten and the late-night shows start at 10:30).

We’re trying to make our kids go the other way. As much as I hate the memories of living in Ohio and going to bed before the sun went down in the summertime, we put our kids in bed at eight. Then they play in their room for an hour or two, so now I’ve started waking Crazy Jane up at seven to do math work with me. A few weeks ago she yelled at me, “I told you I don’t get up this early!” I said, “Maybe you should go to bed on time.” My secret plan is for the whole famn damily to go to bed at eight, Persephone and I wake up at four, and the kids wake up at seven. That will be a glorious day.


Title from the Rolling Stones' song "Mother's Little Helper."

1 comment:

Leslie said...

I'm all about this post!! I am the mean mom when it comes to sleep and naps. I remember as a kid going to be d at 7pm until I was 10 yrs. old! I thought my parents were crazy - but now that I am a parent I know why.
1. Kids need sleep - makes them healthy and happy.
2. Parents need alone time. Let alone adult conversation! And sex (yes I said it) sex.
3. Parents need sleep too - especially if you have little ones that get up in the night.

So now as a parent my kids go to bed around 7-7:30 and get up at 7am. And my little ones take naps - lots of naps.