Lately I've been coining portmanteaus. It started a few weeks ago when Jerome threw his stuffed Snoopy at the hand puppet I was wearing; the puppet ducked and Snoopy fell down the stairs. The puppet (Señor Perro) said, "Now Snoopy is dead!" When Jerome went downstairs and retrieved Snoopy, Señor Perro said, "It is Zombie Snoopy, also known as Znoopy!" Then it really took off a couple days ago when I told my wife, "I have a tiny wiener; it's called a 'twiener.'"
The other night I was looking at Pinterest recipes and saw one that called for scallions. I said, "A scallion sounds like a scandalous stallion." That immediately seemed like the best blog nickname for myself ever. In the style of Lionel Hutz, "Say goodbye to Turd Ferguson. Say hello to Scandalous Stallion."