Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Youth Gone Wild

This is the last day of my youth. Tomorrow I turn 35, which--according to Walmart's online survey--is indistinguishable from 44. In the eyes of the world's largest retailer, I might as well be 44. I'm going to start telling people that's how old I am.

As Bill McNeal once said, "When I was a child I thought as a child and spoke as a child, but when I became a man I took that child out back and had him shot." I feel like this is my last day to live my half-assed life. Starting tomorrow I have to get up a six, exercise, not wear t-shirts unless I'm doing yard work, shave every day, not eat chocolate or Taco Bell, and keep a clean desk.

So basically the rest of my life is going to suck. This is the last day of awesomeness.

1 comment:

The sort-of Republican said...

Dude, the good news is that nobody comes to check and make sure you're being a grown-up correctly. So keep having fun. Nobody will know.