A RANDOM STRANGER: Oh, by the way, our Dairy Queen shut down.
MY WIFE: What?!
ARS: The windows are all papered over.
MW: This makes me so mad when the stores I shop at close because the president is doing a terrible job.
ARS: So I'm mad at the president because I can never get a job again, but you're mad at him because Dairy Queen closed down?
MW: And Borders, and maybe our Barnes and Noble, too!
JEROME JEROME THE METRONOME: That's why I want to push him into lava.*
* = Our kids have strong independent political opinions. In 2008, while I supported Bob Barr and my wife tepidly supported John McCain, Crazy Jane and Articulate Joe were whole-hog McCain backers. ("Because he looks like a nice grandpa," they explained.) When Barack Obama won, Crazy Jane was happy because he has daughters close to her age.
For the first three years of his presidency, my wife and I did not criticize him in front of the kids. However, in answering their questions about items in the news, they came to dislike the president. In this past election, Crazy Jane was the biggest Romney supporter in our house.
Before the election, Jerome said wistfully to himself one day, "I wish lava was real so I could push President Obama into it." I said, "Lava is real, but you shouldn't want to push someone into it."