Wednesday, February 20, 2013

WL SHKSPR 4 DA MDRN READR: Julius Caesar

from Act III, Scene 2

Dudes, listen:

this is a funeral, not a roast.

Bad crap sticks around

but the good stuff doesn't.

Same for Caesar. Now Brutus

said Caesar was all too cool for school:

if he was that's bad,

and now he's dead.

If Brutus lets me--

'cause Brutus is totally cool, right Brutus?

And all you dudes, just be cool, right?

--I'll talk about Caesar.

Me and him was tight, yo.

But Brutus said he sucked.

But I thought Brutus was gonna be cool, right?

Caesar conquered some people

and made us all mad rich:

was this sucky?

When bad stuffed happened to you, Caesar was totally bummed out.

Sucky people don't do that crap.

But Brutus said he sucked.

Wasn't Brutus gonna be cool?

Remember when we had that party

and I was all, like, "Caesar, you should be king"

and he was all, like, "Nah"? Like, three times! Was this sucky?

But Brutus said he sucked.

And Brutus was totally gonna be cool, right?

I don't mean to say Brutus is full of crap,

so I'll just say this.

You thought Caesar was awesome, 'cause he was:

so why aren't you all sad and crap?

That don't make no sense, like you all animals and whatnot.

You crazy. Hold up:

I'm totally sad that he's gone

and I have to wait a bit until I'm not all "FML, Caesar's dead!".

Exuent.

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