I was only in Indianapolis for about 16 hours, and I spent eight of them asleep, but I still managed to have two different run-ins with cheeky Indianapolis bums.
The first asked me for directions to the Salvation Army mission. I said, "I don't know because I'm not from here, but I'll look it up for you." I got out my phone and started searching for the information. The mention that I wasn't from town led him to ask me, "Do you have a hotel?" I thought for a moment, "Could there be any harm in telling him?" It seemed like the answer was no, so I said I did. Then he asked, "Can I go there with you?" I declined his offer. Then he asked, "Can you get me a hotel?" Again, I refused.
The next morning, walking to the train station at 5:30, I passed a man who asked me for some money. I said, "I only have two one-dollar bills, but you can have them." As I got them out, he asked, "What do you do for a living?" I said, "I'm an economics professor." He said, "I'm a philosopher; can you teach me?" I said, "I have to make a train." Then, as we parted, simultaneous to my wishing him a good day, he wished me a good night.
Free hotel rooms and free economics lessons: don't let it be said that the bums of Indianapolis have set their sights too low.