Thursday, September 12, 2019

Naming Originality

In my town, there is a major road called Baymeadows. In fact, there are SEVERAL major roads called Baymeadows.

Marked in red is Baymeadows Road, arguably the most major of the roads. After all, it can be reached from two different Interstate highways. But marked in blue are all the roads with the word "Baymeadows" in the name: Baymeadows Circle East, Baymeadows Circle West, Baymeadows Road East, Baymeadows Way, Baymeadows Way West, and Old Baymeadows Road. Even if we ignore the intersection of Baymeadows and Old Baymeadows, and the junction where Baymeadows becomes Baymeadows East, there are still FIVE intersections in town where a road called Baymeadows is intersecting with another road called Baymeadows. "I'm at the corner of Baymeadows and Baymeadows." "Yeah, aren't we all?"

Then, because there was too much clarity going on, they went through the rest of the business park and named the roads Baypine, Bayberry, and Baycenter. Sure, it helps you get to the right neighborhood, but good luck finding the place once you're nearby.

Because Floridians have never seen a stupid thing without thinking, "I can top that," I give you the Southpoint business park.

Southpoint Parkway intersects with Southpoint Boulevard, Southpoint Drive East, and Southpoint Drive North, with Southpoint Drive South nearby. ("What the hell?!" - Southpoint Drive West) Also, for confusion's sake, the roads wind around. Have fun trying to find your doctor, idiot.

Also, WHY did they decide to make an intersection of Salisbury Road and Salis Drive, thus virtually guaranteeing that people will pronounce "Salisbury" as four syllables instead of three?

Another favorite thing to do in this town is to name roads after people who aren't important. And, like, FULL ON name the road after them: first, middle, and last name. Perhaps you grew up in a part of the country where you had to do something important to get a road named after you. Well, all you have to do in Florida is be a relative of a land developer! Maybe someday I'll write a post with the long list of instances.

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