Tuesday, December 10, 2019

"Now, Just Imagine You're Weightless, In the Middle of the Ocean, Surrounded by Tiny Little Seahorses"

Last night, our family was talking about the Book of Revelation. Specifically, we were discussing the tension between symbolism and literalism in its interpretation. I mentioned, "There's a video on YouTube of a woman explaining why the Monster energy drink logo is the Mark of the Beast because it looks like '666' written in Hebrew." My wife, who is always online in the background of every conversation, immediately Googled this. Then my daughter, who is months away from legal adulthood and has an interest in graphic design, said, "Is their logo supposed to look like a monster's claws? Oh, and it's supposed to look like an M? I never realized that before. I thought it was three seahorses."

I said, "Seahorses? The graphics team said 'What's your key demographic? Males 18 to 34? I've got one word for you: seahorses.'"

My oldest son said, "I thought it looked like three railroad spikes," but in his defense, he's always taken the train's point-of-view: when he was two years old, I stayed home with the (then) two kids while my wife was out doing something--I don't know what, probably cocaine. Anyway, we watched the movie Spirit, which is about a horse taken from his family. My daughter was bawling throughout, but my son took it all in stride until the end, when (spoiler alert on a 17-year-old movie) a train gets derailed and falls down a hillside, at which point he started crying, too.

Blog post title from Napoleon Dynamite.

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