Wednesday, January 29, 2020

This Blog Is Now a Half-Assed Food Blog

My wife began a job this week. This is the first time in over 18 years that she has worked outside our home. And so I'm assuming some housekeeping duties that had previously been her purview. And that is how I've come to cook dinner a few times this week.

SATURDAY: home-made pizza. My wife made the dough the night before and refrigerated it. She told me lots of things--too many things, it turned out. Some of the information was not received. Like that there were two bowls of pizza dough, or that there were two kinds of cheese, only one of which was for pizzas. Anyway, in a loaves-and-fishes-like miracle, I fed all of us on half the pizza we were supposed to eat, thereby allowing us to have some more home-made pizza just a few days later! And when I sent a kid to get the cheese, he came back with the cheese that was supposed to be for tacos, thereby allowing us to have a giant bag of pizza cheese for later! Sadly, my wife didn't see these success stories as success stories, and instead she encouraged me to listen better. I encouraged her to be more selective in the information she shares so it's easier to retain the important bits.

"How was the actual pizza?" Extremely edible. Although I had to bake it for about twice as long as called for, because the middle of the crust stayed doughy for a long time. But--good news!--I figured all that out and fed us fully-cooked pizza instead of doughy pizza.

We had root beer, and I didn't know if it was for the pizza or for ice-cream floats later. I didn't want to ask out loud, because our one son would insist we have it for dinner, even if that wasn't its intended use. My oldest son has expressed a slight interest in learning French, and since it's the only thing he's even slightly interested in, I've encouraged that, and I've studied some along with him. I thought this would be a perfect chance to use our nascent French skills. So I said to him, "La bière de les arbres..." and I gestured at the ground, to signify the bottom part of said trees. He said, "I don't know what you're saying. But I think I know. I think it's for dinner." So we had it with dinner. (It turned out this was some of the information I had not retained.)

TUESDAY: curried chickpea salad in pitas, and zucchini fritters. Smashing success! "How so?" I found and used all the ingredients, and the entire thing was edible. I had my son Google "grated zucchini" to see if we should peel it first, because both ways sounded right, but all the pictures of grated zucchini still had the peels on, so I left them on.

What's next on my plan of kitchen conquest? I don't know. I'm not responsible for dinner again until next week.

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