Two nights ago I was sitting on the couch, roasting. Our couch is like one of those pillows that disobey the laws of thermodynamics, somehow taking heat from your body and intensifying it threefold.
I moved off the couch to the floor. Slight improvement. I took off my shirt, then my undershirt. From there it was just a logical step to get completely naked.
Then the itching began. Isn't there something called heat rash? I think my back had it. Luckily the carpet selected by our management company is derived from burlap sacks, making it ideal for scratching.
This was how I came to be writhing on the floor naked. (If this were a picture-heavy blog, I'd probably throw in a snapshot here. Sorry to disappoint.) My wife came across me in this position and said, "If they made a movie of The Metamorphosis, you could play the part of Gregor Samsa."